Are someone else’s shoes in your closet?

Sensitivity, Empathy & Compassion. I have now read hundreds of faces and I have seen so many clients who are protecting themselves by literally ‘hardening up’. This hardening can hold back our deep emotions, almost pretending like they don’t exist. We can harden up because it may feel easier to keep our true feelings buried deep inside rather than expressing them to those around us. Hardening up can allow us to ignore how we feel and focus on those around us instead of ourselves. Hardening up can literally make us hard, numb, and unhappy. It can become hard to laugh, hard to cry, hard to relax, hard to go with the flow. It is now time for us to start being easy on ourselves. We need to loosen up and become comfortable with who we really are.

All of us have a level of sensitivity. This sensitivity can bee seen in your face and one of the first places I look at is the eyes. How beautiful they all are and you know why?… because they are the window to your Soul. The eyes say so much about a person, in fact you could write a book simply on the eyes! A good way to gauge how comfortable you are with yourself is if you feel comfortable looking into someone’s else’s eyes. Do you feel at ease or does it make you feel uncomfortable, and do you prefer to look away and hide? When eyes connect, Souls are connecting too.

A common feature I see is heaviness above the eyes. When the tissue above the eyelid is full and literally sitting on top of the eye, this can indicate a feeling of having the weight of the world on your shoulders. When I point this out to my clients, they often identify with this instantly and some even add that they should get a face lift. No way! How about you just lighten your load..?

Those who are very sensitive Souls have this amazing ability to give their energy to others in the form of empathy. Empathy can be described as ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’. For those that have heightened sensitivity this can come naturally, as you can easily identify with the feelings you ‘think’ the other person is going through. I say ‘think’ as we never really know. It is possible for you to empathise with someone and think what they are feeling is more or less than what it actually is.

In my past experience I could step into someone else’s shoes in a snap! I used to think it was a gift and a way that I could help those around me. Yes this does help others around you, because guess what?… they are off-loading their ‘stuff’ to you. Unwittingly they pass on their load to you, and in response you put it on top of all the other things like your own deep emotions, worries, to-do lists etc., you may be carrying around. Can you feel your eyelids becoming heavier just thinking about it? (Whoooa… and breathe a deep breath out!)

We all have enough of our own ‘stuff’ to contend with, let alone taking on the weight of other people’s worlds. This is where compassion steps in. Try replacing empathy with compassion. By being compassionate to someone’s situation you are still helping them through what ever is happening, but the difference is you are not stepping into their shoes. You are not taking on their ‘stuff’. Trust that what they are going through is a part of their journey and there is a lesson or growth the person will find in the situation. By showing compassion you are understanding, listening and acknowledging the person and sceanrio, but you are not living it. It is important for us to keep centered with who we are when helping others. It may be that what ever is happening to the other person is actually triggering something within you, and you may need to look at yourself a little more closely instead of focusing on someone else. Take notice of those feeling and experiences, as they are the important ones for you.

So keep your shoes to yourself and your feet on the ground. Taking your shoes off and slipping into someone else’s may not be such a great idea… you never know what foot fungi you might catch! Sorry… bad joke – but I bet you will remember 😉

~ Planting the Seed… the Seed to your Soul

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